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I'M NOT CRAZY! I finally figured out what tripped me up. There comes a point where you in fact divide a fed shoggoth in half, and then either discard half or feed it and give it away as a new mother colony. The idea is that half of a fed shoggoth already gives you two loaves of something, and working both halves is time consuming and gives you twice as much bread as a couple with 5 cats can reasonably consume before it goes moldy or stale.
As it stands now, if I converted all of the shoggoth I have taken from Jub Jub into bread, I would end up with 8 loaves of something.
This idea of 'discarding' half is a hard one to take, morally speaking. It could be made into bread! Throwing it in the trash feels like a wasted resource. Perhaps it only seems tragic because we are in the practice of naming and personalizing our shoggoth colonies...I even feel a twinge of guilt while washing a bowl that held a shoggoth colony that maybe didn't get scraped as completely as it should have been.
Well, I have a hockey tournament coming up on Friday. I might as well make some bread for us, and bring some bread to give away/consume over the weekend...we're playing possibly 5 games between Friday night and Sunday afternoon...right after Game 2 in a tournament is when the metabolism starts running wild, and hockey players become Shoggoth in nature and start consuming everything they can get their hands on.
Maybe 8 loaves is not at all unreasonable.
Having 3 Shoggoth colonies in one's fridge definitely qualifies for family and/or government intervention.
April 23 2008, 13:31:12 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 13:54:47 UTC 4 years ago
That's handy, thanks!
April 23 2008, 14:14:10 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 17:15:36 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 17:17:16 UTC 4 years ago
"I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George."
April 23 2008, 17:44:49 UTC 4 years ago
April 24 2008, 00:37:55 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 19:24:54 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 21:27:30 UTC 4 years ago
April 23 2008, 21:34:40 UTC 4 years ago
http://free-dissociation.com/elmer-fami
:)
April 23 2008, 22:37:22 UTC 4 years ago
April 24 2008, 00:34:31 UTC 4 years ago
My Shoggoth has a second name...it's N-O-B-A-B-B-A
Uhhhh...my shoggoth has a spawn or two...
It's bubbly, smelly and feels like goo!
I'm hoping to send on pictures of the North Pembroke Shoggoth Tribe.
April 23 2008, 21:29:37 UTC 4 years ago
And frankly, making 4 or 8 loaves at once really isn't that much more work than 2. One tip, though: if you do go the multiple-loaf route, let them raise in separate bowls with about 2 loaves' worth of dough in each. OTherwise, when it finishes proofing, it'll be Doughzilla, and difficult to work with. The only downside is that you dirty two bowls.
April 24 2008, 00:43:13 UTC 4 years ago
Will I be prosecuted later by my colony's relatives some years down the road in the event of an unpredicted calamity (i.e. I go away for a week and the freezer dies and I have to go visit my Shoggoth's relatives and confess its demise?)
I mean after all, my colonies have several aunts and uncles and cousins at this point. Would they feel a mass colonial extinction via something along the lines of a Shoggoth Force?
April 24 2008, 03:37:21 UTC 4 years ago
Seriously, the internets tell me that he'll lie cryonically dormant for up to three months with no problems. You can also dehydrate him on a cookie sheet, crumble him into an airtight container, and keep him forever.
There are stories told of goldminers that used sourdough starter to chink their log cabins, and hundreds of years later, the same spackle was resurrected and used to make new bread. Tough stuff, shoggoth.
April 24 2008, 12:59:56 UTC 4 years ago